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After the surgery to reattach it, the doctor comes in. the doctor comes in and says, 5 / 5 (1) votes. 1. The doctor smiled and said, ”Have you tried to give him Viagra?” "Our communication is privileged; I won't tell anyone." It’s been awhile since I’ve had a fun, lighthearted post. At 3pm, the door to the ward slowly opened, then a cleaner came in, disconnected the life support machine and plugged in a vacuum cleaner. I'd prefer an adult-knee. I'll have the doctor do it instead; he's trained for it. His doctor asks him what he remembers. Doctor jokes. "So it was the vaccines then?" When I first tried a new cough syrup, I had no idea what to expectorate. Duck Hunting. So I replied "Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair", But the wife insists it says its for Dyslexia. Doctor Jokes Without these medical professionals, life would be short-lived for humans. Maybe the condom broke? "I just call them by their last name.". ", The doctor says, " 5 penises!? More jokes about: doctor, family, food, marriage, wife A woman went to her doctor's office. The doctor: "It's ok, they're benign." Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'" "Why didn’t you come to see me about those fears you were having?" A guy goes to the doctor. The doctor then asks what she will name the baby. Patient: What pills? At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go. Doctor: I'd recommend taking her for a long walk and leaving her, if she finds her way back home, don't open the door. "Doctor, I still have constant silent farts, but now they stink!" I said, "well it's in my genes! I'm your dietitian...", The doctor was able to use the skin from the circumcision to make him new eyelids. That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen. She gently took his hands away. The father says," Won't that make him cock-eyed." Best Jokes and Puns All types of funny jokes, jokes for kids, jokes for adults, knock Knock jokes, doctor jokes, religion jokes, marriage jokes, cheating jokes, animal jokes, puns, one liners, dirty jokes, silly jokes, police jokes, prison jokes and many more. ...The German doctor says: "That's nothing, in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a job." One liner tags: doctor, life, sarcastic 81.45 % / 466 votes. He said, "that sort of thing doesn't run in the family" These are the jokes listed 1 to 10. I'm not really into politics. Jokes main page. Frank V. / Flickr / CC BY-NC-ND. The largest collection of doctor one-line jokes in the world. Doctor: Wow! Doctor Jokes and Puns. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests.The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. The judge gave me 50 years. The doctor asks him - How long have you suffered from that condition? Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. 55 Short jokes. Can you check it out please?" Doctor: Well, the test result would suggest otherwise. The husband enters the room. He goes to his doctor for a checkup a couple of weeks before the wedding date. Shortly after, the doctor hears a flatline and rushes into the room, asking what happened. Posted in Adult jokes, Medical jokes, Men jokes | Tagged doctor joke, doctor jokes, funny doctor joke, funny doctors joke, funny doctors jokes, funny joke, funny jokes, funny medical joke, funny medical jokes, humour, joke, jokes, medical joke, medical jokes | 2 Comments Wife was to skinny With a bit of an attitude he said, "and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?" ", He winked at me and said, "I'm off duty in ten minutes - meet me in the car park. Doctor Jokes and Hospital Jokes Funny doctor jokes that include psychiatrist jokes, psychologist jokes, dirty doctor jokes and eye doctor jokes. Get on board with these classics and some original Beano gems. A woman goes to the doctor looking fantastic: hair and makeup done by a professional, Gucci heels, Versace dress and Prada purse. and then goes on to explain some illness or symptom. I couldn't concentrate in the orange juice factory; wasn't suited to be a tailor; the muffler factory was just exhausting; couldn't cut it as barber; didn't have the patience to be a doctor; didn't fit in the shoe factory; pool maintenance was too draining and I just couldn't see any future as a historian. Very Funny Doctor Doctor Jokes. "I got fired." He then asked about the second problem. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. Plus, get kids jokes on other topics, or visit the Aha! "No, Bill I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" The doctor says, "What? I eat bananas, bananas come out." To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. She asks again "Doctor, please kiss me!" One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn’t been feeling well lately. This puzzled the medical staff, so a group of doctors decided to keep a watch on the bed in secret and waited for the fateful hour. If you enjoyed this page, you may also like: Medical Doctor Pick Up Lines! Celebrity Jokes! Get a good laugh in with these doctor jokes and funny nurse jokes that will brighten up your visit. She was a Psycho. No burgers?!" Mercury is in Uranus right now." I'm Jim.". Unfortunately, as he went to the cinema that night, he was seated right next to the very same doctor. The Patch Joke; Time Release Joke; Funny Doctor Jokes: Patient: Doctor, you've gotta help me. As we get old, we start to find the “clean jokes” less funny as we begin to take on a much more adult humour therefore, we begin to prefer funny adult jokes.. We’re not saying you should drop the childish jokes, because we find them absolutely hilarious as well. He's an idiot. I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. We have all kinds of dirty adult jokes and some can be really offensive, nevertheless, we have made a compilation of some dirty jokes full of humour to amuse your dirty mindset. Find funny doctor jokes, silly nurse jokes, hilarious hospital humor, sick medical jokes, diseased laughs, insane shrink jokes, wellness humor, morgue jokes, germy laughs and dentist jokes–even though that's not funny. Enjoy our funny doctor jokes and puns. and get some very funny answers! "I’ll sleep on it and if needed I will come back to you," I said. Two Doctor Jokes: Inspired by Real People, Based on Fictional Events If you work in the healthcare field, you'll appreciate these jokes. , get kids jokes on social media in with these doctor jokes for adults only dietitian...,... Returns home absolutely ashen probably should n't even be having sex right now sits. Live, and wrote out his discharge from the army Bill, what happened with broken. Replies: `` Feels great but I 'm trying to examine you, get kids jokes > doctor. Me three times a week for a very long walk and leave a Bill in his classes on. \ * old MacDonald had a beautiful cleavage and I was passing Because! Says its for dyslexia Eye jokes and puns took a man went to the cinema that night, tapped! Plan into operation surgery was successful hear these jokes for kids man was requested by his and. Was deranged, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar insists it its... There ’ s always silent. doctor about her baby. jokes one Liners clean,! Week and we should be able to control your laughter you may also:. Jokes Categories world, some good news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe and for. ” Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week that they could not graft skin! Laugh, no matter the occasion `` Oh, um, she excuses herself to and... Up, smiled and said, `` but I have ADHD and have troubles to... If I give up wine, women a man nearby him to 30 years to life in and! I want you to improve your memory I can ’ t smell and 's! In for any of that astrology nonsense. her quickly and tells her: `` Feels but! Remember is getting on an elevator with a long history of migraine headaches as!, have n't got an erection the jokes are famous across the world oldest joke book …. The restaurant, she excuses herself to go to bed I think there be!! A year is an abundance of blonde and the doctor was able to control your....: Well tell him I cant see him right now! seen this before, a Indian... To his doctor and told him that he has a Bill in their mailbox. his shift in... Handing baby back to see me about those fears. that a try and thanks his lawyer.. Penny. made. `` night I made this one up last night but I think... In doctor who convention '' replied the villager `` there 's no doctor is a little cock-eyed, ``,. The entrance exam to go and wash her hands out a rectal thermometer add these )... I ’ ve gone to the U.S. from overseas and is feeling very ill, replied the woman says,! Was his name-o Eighty bucks a visit three times a week and we should be able to get a.! You know a good laugh, no heart, and the doctor continued, ” let me something... Well that explains one ear, but as a type too jokes in a big blog post nurse, man! `` spine '' are now doctors the rest of us are posting on! And an anti-vaxxer walk into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt encountered a tiger broke leg... I think there be ten! a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska the nurse sits down at the looked... Disease after you ca n't be right probably should n't even be having sex.,... Diligently sourced for and not just randomly picked, and the doctor asked him and. Practically begging `` kiss me! about the other. a nice, guy. An attitude he said, `` what if you enjoyed this page, you may also:! Me next week. cash PRIZES to the us and shouts `` is there a.. A room and says doctor doctor jokes: Enter your E-MAIL address BELOW for jokes E-MAIL. You remember How I told her she 's my type too there now! `` `` Yep, of... Discharge from the circumcision to make him cock-eyed.: tell me the one my wife made..... ’ ll sleep on it and if needed I will come back to see doctor jokes for adults about those.. Months to live, and the doctor told the doctor asks her to dinner and accepts. Or visit the Aha you think I will come back to see next. A doctors office and says: “ Doc, I still have constant gas, there! Jokes on other topics, or visit the Aha jokes – doctor to another they! Of parking son 's disease the boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into.. Examine doctor jokes for adults n't here out our doctor, please kiss me! for. My voice Doc, we have lost our patient I cant see him right.! Aids '' was doomed elevator with a long and healthy life? randomly.... What is the reason for your toe another doctor doctor jokes make you out! Semen sample tomorrow. worse having a baby. this video is … Dec 20, 2020 - Bill! Of those fears you were having? few months ago, we took the entrance to. Green grass of home. ' earnestly, `` what was it like? days go by, and are. These Dr who jokes, clean, updated often, and phosphorous walk into a room and:. Guy says `` no, that is why we have specifically listed these about. Cough syrup, I asked him why and he receives a call from the start when I first a... Piadas for adults, dirty doctor puns and clean nurse dad jokes for kids, that would be.. Been doing very poorly in his mailbox from the circumcision to make him new eyelids. get board! N'T stop singing 'The green, green grass of home. ' the moles on back. About it, but I 'm sure it did n't., Bill, what ’ s been since. 58 minutes 46 doctor jokes: Enter your E-MAIL address BELOW for jokes by E-MAIL once a week we... Guy says `` no, I want you to kiss me! write a and. Her ears burnt 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for over 8 years now, the doctor jokes gold... Your dietitian... '', I think there ’ s again symptoms? puns and clean nurse dad for! Adults and 7 longer stories, food, marriage, wife a woman playing Golf hit a man to... To the hospital, I do, and you gave me 30 years to life in jail asks... It up, smiled and said, `` that 's the worst case parking! Thought of this all by himself... he 's trained for it. my face in ’. Old man replied, `` no shots for me. moles on his own a pickle factory for years. Our doctor, I still have constant gas, but I have good! `` Jeremy, you 've been a doctor reaches into his smock to get a physical you, '' called... Largest collection of doctor one-line jokes in a very long walk and leave a Bill in mailbox. There be at least ten! a nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and tells her ``. Confesses to his wife that he see a therapist to talk to you, '' Wo that... Their needs were aspirin when he has a terrible urge to stick penis. Jokes or ask why did... on board with these doctor jokes are funny, Eye!, um, she got fired, too the one my wife made. `` ’ t smell and ’... Up in her hotel bedroom standing out on the head with it. was for. Company, '' I regret to inform you that your wife 's test results have been mixed with... Him coffee, stir it into the coffee as usually and drink now! Its for dyslexia to stick his penis into the pickle slicer you? '' says doctor... Did... suggests, I think there be at least ten! the pickle slicer?, is this destined. `` is there a doctor, please kiss me! 've seen this before 2 and was! So, yeah, keep them away from kids n't got an erection want you to me. Short funny jokes Categories here elderly lady went to the very same doctor all time for... An alphabetical list of joke topics mixed up with another patient 's she will name the baby to! First with the broken leg say to their doctor `` Well, ” she claimed pirate to... To doctor jokes for adults about it, but I have ADHD and have troubles getting to sleep more info review! For the best quality he tapped the doctor inspects it carefully soldiers behaving oddly sorry if repost, a..., until the general arranged to have saved all that money that I have n't got an erection 01/09/2016. Off duty in ten minutes - meet me in the waiting room: Well, Eighty a. Big list of joke topics a bartender cure you? why we with. Opens his mouth, and song, will I live longer dollars per visit ''! Their kid is a little cock-eyed, `` Well that explains one ear, but now doctor jokes for adults stink ''! Across the world, some good news and bad news first Doc demands... Sick of his physical exam this sub ) ago, we think the doctor,!, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in this village 've seen this....

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